Beginnings
"Every beginning/ is only a sequel, after all,/ and the book of events/ is always open halfway through." —Szymborska (transl by Cavanagh & Barańczak)
In Bhanu Kapil’s list of 12 questions I return to again & again, from The Vertical Interrogation of Strangers, is the question, “How will you begin?”
Whew. If you haven’t seen this list of questions before—or if like me upon every re-read you’re struck by their gorgeous, incisive fervor—you might want to take a moment to stare out a window or touch grass or get your journal or voicememo a beloved or just put them in your back pocket for when the time is right.
I am beginning again. I was intimidated to begin the experiment of this newsletter because amidst noise and beauty, much to read & do & respond to, I had doubts about contributing to the cacophony. Because language fails me, or I fail language. Because as obsessed as I am with the idea of devotion, I have no definitions or answers for you, only questions and ongoing arguments with myself, a growing list of images and associations, experiments. Because to begin with one idea is to blow out imagined candles of other possible beginnings. But every beginning, as Wisława Szymborska puts it in “Love at First Sight,” “is only a sequel, after all.” A continuation. How where a river begins, confluence or headwater, its source, contains its own beginning, and on &..
So I begin, with beginnings, with rivers. Rivers, ones I’ve visited and imagined, come up often in my poems. There is something I am learning about devotion from rivers. How they move toward a larger body. Their pursuit of sea. I think devotion, whether to God or a beloved or an art practice or an idea, &&&, has to do with something bigger than us. Even if we are just practicing devotion to ourselves, isn’t it a more expansive idea of self? Can it be a way of making room for past and future selves, a widening? How does it feel to spread your arms out and feel your wingspan? What does it feel like to gently stretch that reach? to wiggle your fingertips?
Upcoming: I’ve got an hourlong offering coming up on the last day of this month (National Poetry Month!)—join me in writing, reading & discussing poems re: rivers on 4/30 11am PT. More info on this drop-in session via Zoom ($20-30 sliding scale, no one turned away for lack of funds) here. Join whether you're new to writing poems or have been writing for decades.
Readings: If you live in the midwest, I’m reading poems in Chicago this weekend at Haymarket House on 4/14 & the Sunday Reading Series at Hungry Brain on 4/16 in celebration of Gabrielle Bates’ JUDAS GOAT alongside brilliant poets.
I’m glad you’re here! Thank you to everyone who subscribes. I’m going to try out sharing an offering here weekly. If you want to support my writing & art, please share and/or upgrade your subscription: